an impulse

this is cool.

i google *momalim*, as the nickname i used in twitter & tripadvisor, my previous post in tripadvisor are shown in results by different languages of tripadvisor web, included japanese. and my twitter home page also.

soon after, i register a same name to my couch surfing account ;) glad that, i found a hoster in Vientiane. I'm going to join this powerful interaction of travelers?! hah, this is really exciting!

i will look forward to my upcoming trip =)
shouted for LAOS!


P.S.
I hate of this excitement, in this moment!
b'cuz i gotta stay focused on my books now!!

IQ所剩不多的*认真*

话说昨天凌晨，我偷懒。发现PPS新大陆。PPS居然有我爱看的“世界那么大”2010版；假假开着study guide在算一直算不到的IRR，然后一口气的看完墨西哥、突尼西亚、costa rica、越南和香港的，直到早上，我依然算不到IRR。

大家都懂，我是个搞不清楚的人。外表斯文，嘴里粗俗；喜欢看书，却没有气质；课业麻麻地，古歌searching还不错；喜欢skydive/潜水，却怕高又怕水；兰有知识喜欢看history channel和travel & living，什么外星人探索、mars的研究、神秘的埃及/Jerusalem/Petra/Mayan，我都爱看。是不是觉得意想不到？！我就是个捉摸不清的女生，我也搞不清楚状况。

离题了 = ='

事实是我想说，在“世界那么大”澳洲打工留学的那一集，一个65岁的澳婆婆，樱文（我最喜欢的主持人）在澳的寄宿妈妈说，人要学会enjoy life，才会获得开心。我就想说有多少时候，我们都忘了要认真对待、享受、喜欢自己的生活；张开眼睛的每一天，围绕着大家心中的是什么？“又是一天”。

无可否认在背包的时候你尝尽新鲜事，每天看到的、得到的都不一样，你会不知觉的觉得世界真美好，心灵升华。好奇心驱使下，你感受生活，你享受，每一天都好幸福。不禁想想，原来那个时候的你在认真活着，现在的你忽略了认真获得的快乐。得过且过或许是世上最简单的生活，可是却不是最理想的自己。

玛雅族预测2012年12月是Earth更换新面貌的周期，如果世界只剩下845天....对于一个容易迷失，容易醒觉，又容易遗忘的人类.....我活着的时间是什么？

*****

PS.
我真的猜不透，我真的没有办法好好叙述我的思维。想的和说出来的总是有偏差；打华文的时候想到英文，打英文的时候却又翻译by华文。我无法不承认我是个怪女生，神经线错乱交差，搞得无法有有条不紊的思维。难道fb说的-半夜睡觉会让人变笨-是真的？？怪不得financial system的历史我读到这么辛苦 = =' 或许我的IQ已所剩无几了......

Dépression.

IF mama calls me right now
i would ask her
what do you think if i'm not studying anymore

i know the answer

she will scold me
even she always ask me not to study so hard
even she thinks i'm too early to prepare my exam
even she loves me

she hang off the phone

and one hour later
my hand phone is ringing
is mum again
she must be very worrying
she comforts me
she asks me
until she can't stand for her tears

this must be a long day ever for her

the next day
*heartless* is ring out all around my room
daddy is on the phone
he says, I'm disappointed
then, you could tell daddy anything
...tears chocked my words

the price/consequence is unimaginable

**********

$hapo tells me, God is fair
i shouldn't depressed
even i would have nothing one day

God won't lay me down
i'll just have to believe it and see it

Dieu me bénisse =)

fou!

I must be mad.

since the day they told me they changed their mind
i was crazily surfing net for good prices
and found Abdul Chalet's comments @tripadvisor.com
i'm not supposed to do this during this cruciall time

AND
i was wondering my availability of writing the same things...
giving a reason myself to practice my writing
i wrote this
the first time i post sth serious on guai lou web, wow!

**********

i miss my français class
it's coming school on next month
but head drop heavy+heavy+heavy

when weekend class comes to weekdays classes
it is an intensive way
10weeks duration now become 5weeks
every one and a half months have to pay
IM BROKE, order me a skyjuice every time yamcha
though my Mauritian Celio will change to a pure French guys
how we wish to be taught by french =)
however, my opportunity cost is relatively high
and i got to get back home at 9pm every two days in week
during my exam period
my god~~~~

Je dois être folle.

broken english in my live

33days to go
i just realized i have finish an academic year
the next will be start on September
how surprise it is
i got more than five months holiday
included thirty three days for exam preparation
and three days examination

*time is driving fast when you're feeling it's short*

sometimes i just lost of it
i have forgotten the most important things in my life
when you wake up
you lost your time and your mind
and maybe next time you are not only lose these

*I'm just keep running in a circle*

i knew that
i'm different with all of my friends
not because i'm special
thing is, there is something important awaiting me
i shouldn't put it behind
but i did it always :(

*i'm not a good person*


p.s. i love you, daddy and mummy.

lambda est moi

距离上个post，19天
突然觉得好久好久

******

记得有一天我们又大吵了一番
你责怪我不懂事
我责怪你从来不了解
历经多少年，我们没有进步过
依然是没有好好吃饭

我眼浅
你无法了解我的想法的时候
我说不清
我“茫”自己
我不出声、咬牙切齿、喝水
然后.....不禁问 *为什么*
噼哩哗啦地就哭了出来

你我各自的立场、思想、性格、生活都不一样
我说了出来，却变成我高人一等
之后你一句，后悔把我放入这个环境里
更加让我纳闷

我们之间存在着某种因素
没有lambda和alfa可以带入的位置

******

去柬埔寨的那天，九月二十七日
我忏悔的说我应该照顾身边人的想法

三月六号的前一晚
凌晨时分，我脑里闪过一个念头
然后就不停的google

第二天，我买了三张机票
星期六晚上飞曼谷，次早转机乌汶府(Thai东北)
陆路来到老挝(Laos)南部，经四千岛，北上，星期二打首都永珍回马
挂名18天背包，九扣加十其实只有16天

最终我没有坚持当初改过自新的想法
也没有人愿意支持我的想法和行为
这个课题就像当初E女最爱发表的-中学生应不应该谈恋爱

*打从出生那一刻，我的生命就不完全是只有我自己*
这是当时我在(柬)马德望的水路上很诚恳的想法

******

没有灵魂和思想的我占据了我好一段时间
是不是人处在一个阶段太长时间
总是会变得不知所措
茫然？迷失？

我是否是个小孩
坚持对没有意义的事情说no
每天却又不停地重蹈复撤

什么事情让我最害怕
当你看看四周，风景依然的时候
停滞，才是最可怕的
因为你拥有无限的room of improvement
你在荒废自己

茫r.

我总是莫名的失眠

在大家面前嘻嘻哈哈是我的专长

口无遮拦更加是我的强项

相信我，那不是真心

闭上眼睛

才发觉...我不伤心也不开心

生活就是刹那间地不知所措

虚伪心

第二十一个生日是怎样的

爹地妈咪问我要什么
我向来只会口是心非
兰有孝顺
“什么都不要”
哈
虚荣心作祟
原来在说谎
是遗撼是什么都好
现在留下的只是过去
如果重来，我依然还是会说“我什么都不要”
或许冥冥中安排这般如此

我真心希望爹地会送我一个小小的金锁匙
一百架samsung电话对我来说
只不过如此

徘徊的云朵

我
有多少次想就这样离开
拿起护照，夹着机票
连再见也不想说

我
是个不安分的小孩
不知道自己还算不算是个小孩
可是至少在大家眼里...我是

我
享受
享受可以自在生活的时候
追求自由

我
背着的
却永远也卸不下来
潇洒对我来说只不过是徘徊的云朵

我
最后
落在这里
落在这里语无伦次
*多少次想就这样离开* 却是真的